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“Who did I want to be as a kid?…and am I anything like her now?”
Challenging to answer at first. “I wanted to be so many things…” An opera singer, a writer, I wanted to be Frodo and Hermione at different stages, a princess at many. I wanted to become an archaeologist, an athlete, a hero. I was inspired by expedition adventures as much as romantic love stories. What I… Read more
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Note to self: What does honest expression feel like?
It is all those moments that are hard to describe with words. Prisoning the feeling of magic between a few letters. Stealing away the smell of the moment. Maybe it’s presence in awe. Or the wind that passes between the pillars. And maybe I am allowed to write in a way no one has to… Read more
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Maybe it is just okay to be scared?
Scared to open up and get hurt. Scared because I have no clear path of where to go next. Scared of loosing control over my body. My reasoning keeps on talking into myself, why all of those are irrational. And my tired self just wants all of them to disappear. Yet is that really what… Read more
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Fighting Resistance.
Resistance arises. I feel like I want to change things. Try to pull. Try to push. “Go away.” I tell the thoughts in my head. “Leave me alone.” I think towards my opponent. My body tightens. My thoughts can only focus on one thing. I don’t see the horizon anymore. My whole center is filled… Read more
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Radical acceptance.
What if I just commit to myself? Fully and unapologetically. Not to someone not to something, only to myself. As I grow so do the challenges in my life. It will never get easier, it will just expand. Harder and more beautiful. When I doubt, when it hurts, I sit with the pain. So what… Read more
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Consistency also means missing certain days.
Consistency also means missing certain days. And still pick it back up. No matter what decision I make. The decision can be perfectly right. I will always have moments of doubting it. That’s completely normal and not an indication on the rightness of my choice. Sometimes a break is more important, than following through. If… Read more
About Kesityu
“I just wanted to cross the Alps by Bike and ended up in Istanbul.” that’s how my life goes. And that’s what I write about: Facing Fears and finding Freedom.
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kesitu. 